A Grief Shared
by everlovin
Summary: Varro helps Tamara past a bit of her grief over losing her daughter. She helps him through his.


A Grief Shared

Disclaimer - Nope! I don't own SGU otherwise, Varro would be all over the place!

Pairings - Varro/Tamara

Rating - K+

Episodes - Awakening (203) Resurgence (210) before Awakening (213)

Summary - Ok, so I didn't remember correctly Varro's conversation with Tamara about who in his family he lost. Sorry. I thought that he lost a child as well as his wife. Out of that, came this little plot bunny.

They'd spent hours battling death and won. Tamara had been stretched to her limits and through every moment of it, he'd been there helping and supporting her at every turn. She was coming to realize that Varro was a wellspring of strength and a quick mind.

Together, they'd triaged and treated wounds. Together they'd checked on her patients in the ward. She sat down to begin the endless reports, logs, and paperwork. Was it still paperwork when it was, in fact, electronic and not paper? That was a philosophic question for another time.

Varro touched her shoulder. His touch felt like rain in the desert. Gently, he tugged her to the observation deck and settled them on one of the benches there. She always felt a flutter when she was near him. An awareness. Today, now, it felt different. Perhaps it was the shared struggle of life and death, but a part of her felt empty just waiting to be filled.

"Tell me about your daughter." The question came from nowhere. She didn't realize she wanted to know until that moment.

He stilled. The air around them became painful. Another sharing - only instead of a struggle for life, it was of death. He took a deep breath. "What do you want to know?" he asked tightly.

"Whatever you want to tell me."

Varro settled deeper in the corner of the bench. His focus became far far away. "She was a wonder," his exotic voice was tight with the pain. "Everything was new and beautiful to her." His voice trailed off as he lost himself in the memories.

There were so many questions she wanted answers to. Did she look more like her mother or father? Did she have a pet? A secret place? Tamara didn't know if she wanted to know because of Varro or if she wanted to know to fill in the blanks of her imaginings of her daughters life.

After an eternal moment she decided to ask. "Where was her secret place?"

"There was a geez tree near the spring. She'd spend hours there under the trailing vines and leaves." The words choked out of him.

"I had so many things pictured for my daughter. She was going to dance among the stars," she offered with a wistful voice. "Pretty silly compared to everything going on. This isn't exactly the best place to raise a child."

"I think," he began and cleared his throat. "I think a child would have been loved by everyone here. Children are hope for the future. Hope there will be a future. And that is something we all need here."

Tamara shifted slightly closer to Varro. She could feel his solid warmth at her side. What he'd said wasn't a lot different from what Chloe or Camille had said in the past. Somehow, it mattered more that he said it than the others. He'd lived it. She sighed. And now he lived without it.

"Have you ever thought of having a family again?" She looked out to the FLT light show. She wanted the answer, but didn't want him to see how much that answer meant to her. And on more levels than she knew before asking the question.

"I hadn't. I came here thinking - hoping even - I was going to die."

Tamara absorbed the impact of that statement. "You don't still want to die." She stated it as fact. He had worked too hard to gain Everett's trust, to work with and offer aid to the crew, to amend for his actions while boarding the ship.

"No."

Well, Mama was right. Trying to get information from a man was like pulling teeth. "What changed?"

"I saw you with child and it reminded me of her. I couldn't let you fall into that abyss if I could help it."

She turned and willed him to look at her. "You've helped. Your understanding has helped. I will always miss and wonder about what might have been, but I can also move forward." She studied his face and saw relief and a new hope hiding in his eyes.

"And now? Have you thought of a family?"

Varro turned his full attention to her. His blue eyes arrested her every thought and action. "I'm starting to."

The thought that he had his family torn from him and would be willing to embrace it again made her breathe just a little easier. There was something to that. Something that gave her hope. She nestled closer to him as she let this new feeling wash over her.

A/N - Reviews are tasty like Cherry Jubilee ice cream on a hot summer day! Please!


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